Time is a Gift

I've always been a task-oriented person. And efficiency has always been a strength of mine. But it's taken me a lot of years to re-wire myself to remember that people are more important than tasks and the gift of our focused time is always a gift worth giving to people. Especially our children! I'm still working on it. We're all works in progress.

When I think of the people who have stood out the most to me, those people that I've aspired to be a little more like, they are often people who don't rush. When you're with them, they look you in the eye, and they listen. Their bodies are even faced toward you, not half-toward you as if they are on their way to the next thing. They don't look at their phone, and they don't speed-talk so they can be freed to head to something more important. Instead, they clearly communicate that people are more important than tasks with their body language and actions. I've always wanted to be more like that.

I remember a specific day, years ago, when Josh and I were in full-time ministry, that I had an encounter with a young mom that I wished I could've gone back in time and re-done. It was a Sunday morning and I had a bunch of things I needed to get done, but I was told that a young mom was new to the nursery and needed help getting checked in. Well, I was in such a hurry to get my tasks efficiently checked off that I quickly helped her check in and moved on to the next thing. I didn't stop to make her feel special, or seen, or loved or cared about. I just saw her as a task. And I always had regret because most new, young moms need someone to make them feel seen, and loved and cared for because they are giving their every waking hour to caring for others. I wish I had made her feel like she was top of the priority list and nothing else mattered but making sure she felt cared for.

One of the biggest things that attracted me to Josh, aside from his amazing heart, love for others, diligence, selflessness, and handsome good looks :), was that he always made time for me. He was an RA, on honor roll and worked a job while in college, and this super busy guy would cancel things in order to spend time with me and he'd tell me I was a priority to him. That always made me feel so special!

I often think of my dad too. He always had time for me. If he was working in his office and I came in to ask a question, he'd always stop, look away from the computer and look at me and give me his full, undivided attention. I knew I mattered.

I was driving with the kids the other day and I listened to an old favorite Sara Groves album. I hadn't heard this song in so long, but it stopped me in my tracks:

There's always just one more thing
There's always another task
There's always I just have one more small favor to ask
And everything is urgent and everything is now
I wonder what would really happen if I stopped somehow

I'll be there in a minute
Just a few places to go
You wake up a few years later and your kids are grown
And everything is important
But everything is not
At the end of your life your relationships are all you're got

And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say
I've got something better to do
And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say
Nothing will come between me and you
Not even one more thing

There will never be an end to
The request upon your time
It's your place to stand up and tell the world
You've got to rest awhile
And everything is important
But everything is not
At the end of your life your relationships are all you've got

And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say
I've got something better to do
And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say
Nothing will come between me and you
Not even one more thing

I hope and pray that my kids see this. I hope that they'll remember me saying, "You are more important than a clean kitchen. You are more important than whatever I'm looking at on my darn phone! You are my first choice."

This school year we've been blessed with a teacher who has been a great help to me and Jude! She spent five hours with us this week, during Jude's mid-year tests! And she was encouraging and patient and so helpful. She didn't rush, and she didn't make us feel like we were taking up too much of her time. Instead she made us feel like we were the important task.

People like that make an impact on you. They stand out, because they are being servant leaders who give the gift of their time.

Of course I think of Jesus when thinking of this topic. He sat with the woman at the well, who was despised by many. He didn't even rush to heal Lazareth. But he was certainly healed (completely!) in His perfect timing. Wherever Jesus was, He was fully present. He took time for children, who are the very people in our current culture that are often treated like they are a bother, or hindrance to everyone's fast pace. He even asked us to be like them, full of faith, as if to say that our adult rushing that we so highly value isn't necessarily the best choice. He saw people, he saw needs, and He gave of himself. When Martha was rushing with tasks, and Mary was just sitting at his feet, He said that Mary had made the best choice.

I'm so thankful for Jesus' example of selfless love. To the very point of laying down his very life for you and me.

I want to see people like He sees them, and not rush. To be present enough to not be thinking about the next place I need to be. I want my kids to feel valued over tasks. Our time is a gift that's always worth giving. Being present is the best present.