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On days like today, I just have to laugh - it's been one of "those days" that 6 months ago would've made me want to cry, but clearly I've grown accustom to a little cray-zay in my life because it doesn't seem to phase me quite as badly as it use to! Let's hope that's a good thing! ;) But seriously, I believe God has helped me to adjust to the ups and downs that come with Jude's specialties, and I've also come to learn that all of us moms go through stressful moments and have some off days! :)

Frankly it's been a packed past two weeks. It's been days packed with great things like sensory therapy, Jude specialist appt., meeting with photo clients, celebrations, etc., but I'm also trying to get a lot of editing work done in between, which can personally make it a little stressful, but it's par for the season. I purposely only scheduled 2 things next week, so we will enjoy some much needed lazy days!

So back to our day, Jude had sensory therapy and I had a mile long "to-do" list this morning that I had to just let go of because I knew I wasn't going to get it done before therapy, since Ben's napping schedule was off and I was too slow getting everyone fed/dressed and out the door. Then at therapy Jude had a melt-down, which I would most likely contribute to low blood sugar (my fault - I forgot to feed him the specific snack I brought along for him to eat on the way there. Oops.) Plus he had so much fun at therapy today he didn't want to leave... and then refused to leave. And there was a new toy he was really anxious about leaving because he was concerned another kid would break it before he got a chance to come back and play with it. Well, they were having a special handwriting function at the therapy center today too, so of course there were lots of extra parents and kids there. So naturally, my Jude bug was wailing in front of everyone by the door and I could feel parents staring but also trying to act like nothing was happening, lol, all the while my 18 month old with a poopy diaper was climbing on the mattresses, and Selah was mimicking some annoying animal noise repeatedly while Jude was then yelling, "Selah, stop!" It wasn't pretty, People. :) But you know what? In the past I would've swooped everyone into the car in under 2 seconds, and cried on my way home. But today I was able to calmly talk Jude into the car. Then we talked about what happened, got him his snack, and we all joked about eating tickles, pickles and ice icicles on the way home. :)

{Quick side note: A couple months ago one of my mom's co-workers emailed me about a Focus on the Family radio program she thought I should listen to. It was an interview with Joe and Cyndi Ferrini, who have a special needs child. I asked Cyndi, during a live forum, how she deals with "staring parents" and the judgemental looks when your child behaves abnormally in public, and her response was so good:
 
* Joey was also (and still is) very sensitive to noises....and fast movements, etc. CHOOSING the right venue is important for them. Joey could not handle swimming pools-esp. indoor when the echo was so loud. We had to opt for options that included less busy places. NOT EASY but it was what we looked for.  We understand your frustration and dilemma.....and recognize that other parents are looking at us in ways that make us FEEL like we are being judged as bad parents. Of course we don't KNOW if they are thinking that, but we feel they are.
 
** We need to do the best we can and TRY not to take on the stuff we FEEL....but what we know as fact (our child's needs and how to meet those needs).
 
***Finding a good friend you can talk with or a mentor who is in a SIMILAR situation as you but maybe 10-15 years down the road is the best.


I also got to talk with my mom's co-worker via email (she has a daughter with down syndrome) and she encouraged me just the same. I can't do anything about the judgement I FEEL (that may not be real anyway), but I can smile at others and move on with what does matter. It's been really good for me to respond to these "in the spotlight" moments so differently! }
So, once we were home we had some food and then went outside to ride the bike, trike and scooter. Of course by then Selah was really tired and became really fussy so we needed to head in, and it was hot. But this caused Benjamin to cry that crazy injustice cry because he didn't want to be done riding bikes. I always wonder what the neighbors are thinking about us Fegles. :) Once in, I told Selah it was nap time but she asked for a quick bath, so I filled the tub and Benjamin begged to get in too. So I put him in. Selah was soon done, so we get her toweled off and what do you know, Benjamin pooped in the tub. Lucky me! So off to the other bathtub to be washed off and then to face the nasty tub...

Anyway, I'm thankful I can just laugh! And that Josh is coming home a little early so that we can go pick our weight in blueberries tonight. That will be fun and I know we'll all have a good time together doing that! Let's hope it can be "adventure free". Well, I'd better wrap this up... Benjamin is apparently done playing with toys because he mysteriously found a pen and is now coloring in my favorite devotional book!

Happy Thursday!
xo
B

Here are a few iphone pictures from our week:

We love to go on family walks/ bike rides in the evenings after dinner. We often walk down to a little pond area and watch the ducks, then head over to a nearby play structure.

Buddy bear joined us on this walk... and Jude found a couple little caterpillars that he took a lot of interest in.

Selah and Benjamin hang out with me in the play room while Jude is in the therapy gym. They mainly play with Legos, look at books and play on the big bean bags while we're in there. It's nice because it keeps them happily occupied while Jude's doing his thing with Miss M.

 While on a walk...

Because Jude has been getting to go to therapy all week, Selah was feeling a little left out, so we planned some special things for her. She got to go on a special Daddy bike ride, just the two of them, down to a special park and back. She loved it!

I did a photo shoot out on the Sandy River over the weekend (beautiful place!) and my clients spoiled us with a fresh caught salmon from the river that morning! We had it for dinner the next night - SO GOOD! We topped it with almonds, salt, pepper, olive oil and fresh rosemary, served along with veggies and quinoa. I'm still loving Josh's Clean Diet recipes and meals! And Josh is naturally losing weight eating this way.

Jude has gotten so good at balancing on the pedal-less bike Granddad Kevin & Grandma Janet got him that I think the transition this summer to regular bike without training wheels will be really easy. He flies on this thing! And his shoes are his breaks. :)

Selah has really taken to the scooter this summer! I'm glad it's getting more use since Jude outgrew it. P.s. She picked out these shorts and flip flops all on her own at the store this week. She was positive she wanted the "rainbow shorts". :) I think they're so cute on her.

This is Benjamin's favorite toy to ride. His feet don't reach the pedals, but he scoots himself everywhere we go. He'll happily do it for an hour.

So thankful for hot summer outdoor weather! It's such a treat!